Itty-Bitty Valentine Victory

Thank goodness the Valentine's candy is all gone!

You can't always control what food you are given, but you can (usually, hopefully) control what you eat. Yesterday, I exerted my control by throwing away the remainder of the gift box of assorted chocolates.

Before you start thinking that this was a truly amazing sacrifice on my part, I have to confess that I had already eaten all of the really, really good kinds. Still, in the past, I have been known to keep the marginally good and even the downright icky candies around, until, in a moment of weakness or maybe a fit of hunger, I would eat them anyway.

So even though I still ate too much Valentine's Day candy, at least I ate only the candies that I truly wanted. Throwing out the candy that I didn't really want, but might have eaten anyway if it was lying around, is a step forward, a small victory on the road to thinness.

Apparel Angst

OK, I admit it: One reason I want to be thin is to wear more interesting clothes. And look good while doing so. (That last part is pretty important. It's entirely possible to be thin but, er, a tad TOO interesting, like Bai Ling here):



Let me just go ahead and come all the way out: I am a closet (no pun intended) fashion addict. I read gofugyourself.com daily. I watch Project Runway while on the treadmill. I pour over the photo sets from Fashion Week, especially the Couture shows. I haunt the local thrift stores to find creative clothing combos without spending much cash. This is all a HUGE change from when *I* was huge and hated, hated, hated, HATED shopping.

But today I had a seriously angst-y moment at the Goodwill Super Store. There was this dress, you see, this cute, clingy, interestingly orange dress. Just the kind I like. In a size "small." Make that in a size "too small."

It almost, but not quite, fit. Ten pounds from now, I will be able to wear it. But right now, it shows every morsel of food that has passed my lips and been added onto my belly in the last three weeks of less-than-stellar adherence to my fitness plan.

The dress could look great with the right necklace, the right shoes, and the RIGHT FREAKIN' BODY. None of which I have right now. But all of which I could have, may have, (dare I say, will have?) in the future.

I didn't buy the dress. But I'm going to keep an eye on it; if the Goodwill store has a half-price sale, it's mine. In the meantime, I'm using it for thinspiration.

Comfort Me With...Exercise?

In my last post, "Comfort me with Apples," I wrote that I needed better (i.e. less fattening) comfort foods. But the best thing would be to find my comfort in something other than food.

I've noticed that I always feel better -- more energetic, less stressed -- after exercising, so why not use exercise for comfort? I decided to try that today.

I was extremely stressed out at work. There have been times in the past when I've reacted to that stress by indulging in extra food at lunch, maybe even telling myself that I "deserved" fast food, or junk food, or to pig out at a restaurant.

When I overeat like that due to stress, or depression, or being upset (the list goes on!), it is an attempt to self-medicate. I know that, but still sometimes do it. But today I decided to try exercise as my self-medication.

During my lunch hour, I went to the gym and got on the treadmill. I only spent about twenty minutes walking at a fast pace, but it got my heartrate up and my blood flowing and, sure enough, it made me feel better. In other words, it worked. My stress went down.

Forget the apples. Comfort me with exercise!

Comfort Me With Apples

The Bible says "comfort me with apples" in the Song Of Solomon. So why do my comfort foods always involve cheese?!

Or chocolate? Or carbs with fat, like grits with butter, or mashed potatoes with cream, or rice with cheese melted on top?

There are people who can't eat when they are upset. I am NOT one of those people. (I’ve tried to be, believe me.) In fact, I tend to want to eat more when I am upset. Just recognizing that tendency has helped me combat it, but I still need to learn to be comforted by something other than food. Or at least by a smaller amount of food. Or maybe I need comfort foods that are less caloric.

Maybe I should try apples, like the Bible says. According to realage.com , eating a fruit that is high in fiber and water before (or instead of) eating something else is a proven weight-loss helper. The fiber and water are filling and satisfying in the belly and the chewy crunchiness is satisfying to the mouth.

The same source also recommends eating eggs instead of some similar-caloried breakfast or snack food because something about them fills you up better. A study showed that people who eat an egg at breakfast actually eat less at lunch than if they had eaten something else.

So maybe my new comfort foods are going to be eggs and apples. The dangerous temptation for me in that, is that they both go way too well with cheese!

Ups and Downs

Week before last, I worked lots of overtime and also went to the gym almost every day, sometimes twice a day. (It's at my work, so I can go for short sessions before work and during lunch.) I bought a pair of skinny pants and was awfully pleased with myself.

Last week, I crashed, was depressed, and didn't work out at all. I also overate all week. I can still wear my skinny pants, but they are snugger now, so I don't feel very skinny in them.

This week, I am aiming for a happy medium. Why is this so hard?