Perception is a tricky thing. Some days I feel disgustingly fat. But there are a few moments when I feel nearly thin. I'll reach around to rub my lower back when I'm tired, and I will notice how much firmer and smaller it feels than it used to, with muscle and bone and only a thin(ish) layer of padding. Someone will make a comment like the one a couple of days ago when I came back from a workout at the company gym on my lunch break and overheard one co-worker telling another that I "didn't need to workout." I take those moments with a grain of salt, but they do make me feel good.
And then there's yesterday.
I went hiking for my 49th birthday. I was feeling pretty fit and pretty good about the physical activity I was getting. Then I came home and looked at the photos we had taken. OH MY.
They can best be described with one word: FAT. (Although huge, enormous, and elephantine also spring to mind.)
I guess a reality check like that is needed from time to time to keep me on track with my weightloss efforts, but (ouch!) it was quite a blow to the old ego. I deleted the most horrible of the photographs immediately. (Well, after a few minutes of staring at them in shock and some hand-wringing that is.) The others will serve as a reminder that 5'6" and 128ish is not good enough.
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